Day 69

Colin is ill again. He still have the infection which made him have to go back to the ICU this last time. Luckily, we caught it early enough, and he is on the same antibiotics as he was on in the ICU and hopefully he will be feeling better by tomorrow already.

I was supposed to go see him today so I could have tomorrow off, but I spent all day at the police station getting some documentation we need for the insurance. I finally got home around 4 and then called the rehab to see how Colin was doing. They informed me he was a little under the weather. I was just getting my bag to leave when the doc phoned me. She said it was all ok, but I then decided to go see him tonight.

All three of us, (my Dad, Morgan, and me) headed off into the peak-hour traffic hoping to have more than a minute visit, and he was so pleased to see us all. I was able to see for myself that he was ok, and so now I will be able to sleep tonight. This is such a roller coaster, and I really long for his body to be sort of stable and strong enough that we don’t have to worry about these real risks. He was a little down, but he is fighting. I know we will get through this, but I am so helpless to do anything real for him, apart from just being there.

Also, there is an update on the driver of the other car. It seems he told the police that he left the scene of the accident because the ambulance and police were taking too long to arrive. The Detective also told me that the other driver did make a full statement at another police station. He didn’t tell me when this statement was made. He also had photos of the scene which he handed in as his evidence showing Colin’s car clearly badly damaged and upside down, and his car with the number plates clearly on his vehicle. Perhaps I was too quick in judging him, although he still did leave the scene of a serious accident without giving his details to anyone on the scene, or waiting for the police / traffic officers.

I feel ambivalent, and frightened, and worried that the new normal will be full of constant worries about infection and hidden illness that can strike and be bad enough that he will have to go back to ICU. Only time will tell, and time will heal as well as revealing how much Colin progresses, but I am sort of starting to feel hopeless and that is not where I want to be.

Today I am grateful for Police, investigating officers, processes that work, garlic and cheese, and the fact that I can drive.